Thursday, August 13, 2009
A Rant About Stinky Smells
I come from a long line of perfume wearers, and I myself have a list a mile long of favorite scents. Smell is so evocative; I remember the scent of people long after I have forgotten more important things about them. I recall events, thinking of what perfume I was wearing at that particular time in life (Amarige by Givenchy on my wedding day; Elizabeth Arden's True Love the day Hubbs proposed; Lolita Lempika the day I became a Godmother, Clinique Happy the day I found out I was pregnant - and promptly became nauseated by that late 90's scent).
So let me be clear: I love perfume ... it just doesn't love me anymore. I can't handle the fumes of colognes, eau de toilettes, dryer sheets, detergents, hairsprays, candles etcetera. Unless a scent is totally natural (ie: coming directly from the petals of a flower, essential oils, or real baked goods), I can't survive without getting sniffly, sneezy and itchy. Often, I'll get a migraine headache, and sometimes cloying smells will actually make me barf.
About a year and a half ago, I began phasing out toxic chemicals in my life in hopes of managing my allergies, headaches, and endocrine/immunological problems. I found out that most synthetic fragrances in cosmetics, perfumes and household products are chock full of things that make my body go haywire. As I subtracted things, and greened up our home, I noticed many of my symptoms disappeared.
Now for my rant: does Abercrombie & Fitch want me to keep dropping hundreds in their stores, even in this crappy economy? I have a young man who insists on dragging me into this store, then proceeds to bat his big brown eyes at me as he makes off with a huge loot of overpriced leather flip flops, tight polo shirts and plaid shorts. He looks fantastic, but my oh my do those clothes STINK!
A case in point: after school shopping there and practically taking one of everything in every color, I found myself with a throbbing headache. It wasn't the ridonkulous block rocking beats they're blasting in there. It wasn't the staggering bill. It was the smell of those damn clothes, which their employees feel compelled to douse every 10 seconds with their awful cologne!
It's not enough to stink up the entire Fashion Mall. It's not enough to be bowled over by the smell inside the store. Once the motherlode of late summer fashions came into the house, the scent was overpowering. Even after I removed all the clothes from his closet and ran them through the wash, I could smell that awful cologne. His whole room smells like it now, and even he is sick of it. Why, oh why is this necessary?!?
A friend told me the brand is trying to create a total sensory experience. Rather a total sensory meltdown. Maybe all the girls want to smell teenage cheapo cologne, reminiscent of their first date (Oye, who can forget God-awful Drakkar Noir or Polo Cologne - the smell of puberty in 1985), but enough already!
I've discovered one way around this quandry is to get the clothes from their website, shipped directly to the house in nice factory wrappings sans stink. But that's bad for them, because I am always more restrained from the confines of my office without brown eyes blinking up at me begging for just one more shirt!