Worst of the Best

     My drawers, shelves and cabinets overflow with cosmetic products, all green and natural brands at this point save for a few Dior eyeshadows. By my account, I've spent about $800 in the last year trying stuff in the name of ecology and health. I've found winners, scads of them really, but there are some definite downers out there. To kick off 2010, allow me to list a few of the worst of the best: things I tried from brands I trust, only to find they are indeed sheisty products for one reason or another (price, formulation, efficacy or lack thereof, and/or bad packaging). In no particular order, here are the things I won't ever buy again - even though I love the brand.

1.  Dr. Hauschka Facial Steam Bath: Unless you're running a spa out of your kitchen, this stuff is too much hassle to mess with. I don't use it enough for it to be gone by its expiration, and that's a problem with preservative-free cosmetics. If I really need a steam bath for my face, I'll just use essential oil over a boiled pot. If you are indeed a kitchentician or you run an actual spa facility, well then, go ahead.
2.  Korres Milk Cleansing 3-In-One Cleanser: I tried so hard to like this product, because Korres usually makes me happy, I love multitasking products, and it's extremely convenient to pick up when I'm out and about. Then my Auntie came for a visit, borrowed it, and pronounced it to be "slick as shit." Well, you can read her guest review here. Needless to say, I just don't care for its slickery feel either. 
3.  Jane Iredale Eye Gloss: Only use this if you like sticky eyelids that appear to be covered in fish scales. I love the idea of this product, but the formula is wrong. And it stings, too.
4. John Masters Organics Herbal Cider Hair Clarifier & Color Sealer. Smells douchy. Actually douchy. It's nothing more than diluted cider vinegar with a few indiscernible essential oils thrown in. If you want to seal your color, use the vinegar from your pantry. Besides, diluting this from its pour-top container then applying it by dumping it over my head with a cup makes me feel like a puppy. And it's a pain in the ass. I don't care for the smell (had I mentioned that?!?) enough to do this except upon rare occasion. If I were to use it every few days (because cider vinegar rinses do indeed clarify the hair wonderfully), I would mix my kitchen vinegar with water (and maybe a little essential oil) and apply it liberally with a spray bottle before showering. Prepare to smell like the Bio lab. The John Masters Organics brand as a whole is marvelous, and I use just about everything else they make. But I won't make this $17 mistake again!
5. Aura Cacia Shower Tablets: The idea is to put one of these eucalyptus or lavender tabs on the floor of the shower so you can reap the benefits of aromatherapy via steam. Totally ineffective. A cottonball soaked in essential oil would do better; these things totally dissolve within about a minute, and I couldn't smell anything but that nasty cider rinse I mentioned earlier. Instead, put a little of the oil (use only pure essential oils, please, otherwise the therapeutic benefit is nullified) into the reservoir of your vaporizer. Your lungs will thank you, and you'll hack much less. I swear this treatment helped my son overcome pneumonia last fall.
6.  Lavera hair styling products. Great idea, totally ineffective in keeping my 'do did.
7.  Caudalie Contour Creme Eyes & Lips was the former name of this $50 budget-buster. I thought I was being a recessionista by combining anti-aging for two parts of my face. A big fat Meh. They've repackaged this and renamed it as Pulpe Vitaminee Eye & Lip or something stupid like that. Either way, I'm not buying it again, but I still like Caudalie.

Buyer's Remorse

     I want to like these products. But I don't. Well, for the most part, I don't. Let's just say I won't be adding them to my cart again any time soon. Let's begin from the left with the Juice Beauty SPF 30 Mineral Sheer Moisturizer.

     Pros: Readily available, works well to protect skin from the sun, easily recyclable in a glass bottle. Cons: It's expensive at about $29, works too well to grease up my skin,  and it's not nice on my face under makeup. I use it off-label, so to speak, saving it for my neck, chest and arms. I confess I used this last summer, as well and I'm only about three quarters of the way down into the glass bottle. Sephora now sells it in a tube instead, so that is an improvement. This is a product which scored relatively well on the Environmental Working Group's 2009 Sunscreen Guide, so it is better than many on the market. If your skin can handle the oil slick and you don't intend to put makeup over the sunscreen, it's OK I suppose. Meh.

     Next on my list of things I wish hadn't bought is Caudalie's Creme Contour. Sounds delicious, doesn't it? It comes in beautiful packaging, boxed, foiled and shiny. It's French and fancy. I love French and fancy. This stuff is OK. I thought it would be economical to spend over $50 on this product because it is packed chock-full with anti-aging ingredients, and it is formulated for eyes and lips: double duty. I want so badly to love it. But I don't. My sensitive skin gets little tiny pimples when I use it by my lips. Perhaps I should apply with a swab; maybe it's my fingers (doubt it, though because you know I wash my hands every five minutes and before I touch my face). My disappointment stems from its outrageous price more than anything. You'd better believe I will use it on my eyes till it's gone, but I don't plan to buy it again. I feel moisturized, but unprotected from Father Time.

     Cost brings me to the Alba Botanica Mango Moisturizing Conditioner. Although I don't often shop at Walmart, I found myself there after a friend told me our local store had been revamped. She said they had cleaned it up, reorganized and made shopping there a much more pleasurable experience. I stopped by and was excited to see a "natural beauty" section. I found the Alba conditioner, and thought it might make a less expensive alternative to my favorite John Masters Organics Honey and Hibiscus conditioner. At about $8.50, the Alba stood to save me about $20 over my preferred product.

     Alba gets some decent marks from the Environmental Working Group, but this conditioner clocks in with a rating of "5," which is right in the middle of the road. Better than a lot of products, but not as good as many. It seems as though the vague ingredient, "fragrance" is what concerns the EWG. See, "fragrance" is considered proprietary and therefore doesn't have to be broken down into its constituent parts. That means the delightful scent in question could contain gross stuff like formaldehyde fixatives and other gross stuff that can be toxic to our immune systems and inflammatory to allergy sufferers. 

     In my experience, manufacturers who merely list "fragrance" as an ingredient are probably using something yucky. When cosmetics companies use natural essential oils to fragrance their products, they are very proud to say so. And the cost of such products is going to be higher because essential oils are expensive. I like the smell of this Alba conditioner, but my foray into natural cosmetics began because I was constantly battling irritation, inflammation and headaches. Until Alba Botanica begins disclosing what's in their "fragrances," I'm not buying it again - even though this is a decent conditioner. In fact, I hopped over to the Beautoium (see sidebar above) to get the aforementioned John Masters. 

Beautorium: Cosmetics Cloud 9!

    

By their own definition, Beautorium stocks "carefully edited" product choices, "hand selected from the very best in natural and organic beauty from around the world." Beautorium picks the lines it carries according to criteria such as "Natural/Organic certification by the world's most reliable independent third party organizations." Indeed, with strong brands like Dr. Hauschka, John Masters Organics, Korres, Juice Beauty, and Pangea Organics, this joint is poised to become your Kitty's new natural beauty one-stop mothership! 

     Also, Beautorium aims for cruelty free and/or vegetarian products,  and "effective ingredients with proven benefits." Better yet, they list all the ingredients for all of the products they sell, in the event you are trying to avoid anything specifically in your formulas. Best of all, they don't skimp on the samples! Now get over there and do something nice for yourself now!

Caudalie Cleanser Doesn't Disappoint

 

 Soap-free Caudalie Instant Foaming Cleanser (clickable, above) offers a travel size for $10. If you don't like it (doubt it), you can always refill the awesome little bottle with something you prefer - perfect for green divas who don't use polluting foamy soap. I thought it was great for controlling oil, and Caudalie is a really luxe natural brand. My skin felt sufficiently clean, but I did need to call in extra products to remove my eye makeup.

  It's made in France (where cosmetic safety standards are tighter than in the US), not tested on animals, and comes in easily recycled packaging: a trifecta of cleanser bliss. According to Beauty.com, products containing Resveratrol improve elasticity while increasing skin tone. Firm, full skin cells make your skin appear more youthful and radiant, as Caudalie skin care treatments significantly lessen the look of fine lines and wrinkles. (I pretty much paraphrased that from their website, but ever since I saw Dr. Oz talking about Resveratrol as an anti-aging weapon, I've been trying to cram in and pile on as many grape products as possible! I tend to agree with the hype on this one.)  Good stuff that won't disappoint!